


Jared has bad ideas but they work sometimes??

by kelpforbrains



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Be More Chill - Freeform, Evan doesnt have a boy but i promise he's loved, Heidi Hansen - Freeform, I love connor more than myself, M/M, Multi, Who am I, bmc, connor Murphy - Freeform, connor is a big meanie :(, gay bitches, heidi loves her son(s), insanely cool jared kleinman, jared wants love you cucks, jeremiah heere - Freeform, jeremy is an anxious boyo, jeremy loves slushies ok, the loml, why did I write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 10:14:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15839172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kelpforbrains/pseuds/kelpforbrains
Summary: Jared wants a boyf and so does Jeremy and if Jer wont do abything abt it, he will





	Jared has bad ideas but they work sometimes??

(pls pls pls dont mind that the pov might change from past tense to present tense its something i need to work on so!!)

 

 

insane(ly cool): okay, hear me out  
insane(ly cool): I have an idea  
jeremiah: your ‘ideas’ always end up getting me extremely embarrassed or mortally wounded, neither of which i’m in the mood for today  
insane(ly cool): i swear, no limbs will be lost in this expedition  
jeremiah: that doesn’t rule out embarrassment??  
insane(ly cool): we can’t always get what we want, jeremy  
jeremiah: hhhh fine. explain  
insane(ly cool): okay! so, at dinner tonight, i have a foolproof plan to get both of our otps together  
jeremiah: our otps being…?  
insane(ly cool): you and mikey, and connor and I!!  
jeremiah: oh god. jared, i physically forbid you from going any further into this plan  
insane(ly cool): :(((  
insane(ly cool): what if we bet on it  
insane(ly cool): i know my second favorite heere can’t deny a bet  
jeremiah: second  
jeremiah: ??  
insane(ly cool): idk mr. heere has that dad bod that i just can’t resist, yano  
jeremiah: ew oh my god stOp  
insane(ly cool): will you listen to my plan?  
jeremiah: fine yes oh my fuck  
insane(ly cool): yes!!  
jeremiah: why are we even friends  
jeremiah: michael doesn’t talk my dad’s ‘dad bod’  
insane(ly cool): bc you succ at the secc and need my help  
jeremiah: jared you’re a virgin  
insane(ly cool): SHHH  
insane(ly cool): anYWAY  
insane(ly cool): my plan was, we could try to make mikey and con jealous by acting really lovey dovey, yano??  
insane(ly cool): then they’ll be like “wait that’s my man!!” and we’ll all win bc we’ll be together and stuff!!!  
jeremiah: jared  
jeremiah: I love you, bro  
jeremiah: but thats the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard  
insane(ly cool): no!! Please I’ll give you ten bucks and a gamestop gift card if you at least participate  
insane(ly cool): seven eleven card if we succeed  
jeremiah: …  
jeremiah: sadly  
jeremiah: that’s an offer I can’t refuse  
insane(ly cool): YES!! see you tonight, say hi to your dad for me!!  
jeremiah: fuck off  
Read by insane(ly cool)

That night, as Jeremy arrives at Evan’s place, he can’t help but dread the coming ‘lovey dovey’ actions from Jared. He’ll play along, of course; he would never deny free shit. But, honestly, he’s never wanted to do anything like that with anyone but Michael (and, at one point, Tobey Maguire, but that was a dark, dark time.) He knocks on the door lightly, and Evan arrives at the door within seconds, Jared in toe.

“Hey, Jeremy! Jared just told me about your plan for tonight, so I’ll be playing along as well as I can. I’m really excited for you both,” He smiles, opening the door for Jeremy to come in. He toes his shoes off at the door and walks into the living room, where Heidi is gathering her things for work.

“Okay, you have everything you need, right? Your meds? We have enough food for everyone? You’ve showered?” Heidi rambles, already heading towards the door.

“Everything’s under control, Ms. Hansen. We’ll take care of him.” Jared reassures her, sitting on the couch and patting for Jeremy to sit with him. Heidi turns back and smiles at the boys. 

“Alright. Have fun, then! Evan, don’t forget to turn the oven off when you’re done with it, okay sweetie? Love you! Bye Jared, bye Jeremy!” She calls, walking out the door and locking it behind her. 

Jeremy sat on the couch with Jared, crossing his legs awkwardly as he fidgeted with his hands. He wasn’t really sure what to do without Michael around to break the silence. 

“Jer, you good?” Jared asks. “We don’t have to do this…”

“No, I want to, it’s just-” He sighs. “I hate making Michael mad. He always looks so hurt, like whatever’s making him mad is insulting his moms at the same time.”

“The point isn’t to make him mad, it’s to make him jealous.” A knock comes from the direction of the door. “Shit! C’mere, lean on me like we’re cuddling-” He switches on the tv, and The Princess Bride starts playing on the screen. Jeremy complies, leaning his head on Jared’s shoulder, as Jared’s arm wrapped around his waist.

“The party is here, bitches!” A voice shouts, and Jeremy’s heart flutters. Michael.

“Act like you don’t care. He has to believe you care more about me.” Jared whispers, as Michael saunters into the room holding a bottle of Mt. Dew and a slushie.

“Jer, I brought you a slushie. Your favorite flavor.” Michael grins, holding it out to him. He reaches for it absently, watching the movie intently - or, rather, pretending to.

“Thanks.” He mumbles uninterestedly. 

Michael looks disappointed at his reaction, but still perks up as Evan brings out chips and dip. He offers some to Jeremy, who, again, pretends not to care.

Jared does the same with Connor once he arrives, but he’s a little less cheerful. Jared watches painfully as Connor sulks, probably feeling unwanted, all thanks to Jared. Evan keeps both dejected boys company, which helps them out a lot, as Jared and Jeremy laugh and joke on the couch, Jeremy’s head now in Jared’s lap.

“Dinner!” Evan calls from the dining room, and Jared helps Jeremy up from his lying position. Michael, almost immediately, is by his side, sweeping his attention from Jared. 

“Hey, what’s up with you and Kleinman?” He asks. “You’re being all weird.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He says innocently, feigning confusion as he sat next to Jared at the table.

Connor chose to remain silent. He was jealous, alright, and Jared could tell. He sent a soft smile across the table, but Connor just glared down at his plate.

Jeremy leans over to whisper in Jared’s ear, “Did we go too far?”

“I hope not.”

They mostly small talk, Connor keeping mostly silent unless Evan asks him a question.

“So, Jer,” He made sure Michael noticed the nickname, “Are you planning on going to college, or…”

“He wants to go to UC Northridge,” Michael says stiffly. “To study psychology.”

“Psychology, really? That’s fucking pathetic.” Connor clips, glaring at Jeremy with what Jared hopes aren’t actual deadly glares. Michael glances up in shock.

“W-What?” Jeremy stammers. 

“Really, only nerds who have literally nothing else to do study psychology. I mean, honestly, since you seem to be so interested in Jared all of a sudden, why don’t you just study him?”

“Hey, Connor, maybe…” Evan’s voice dies as Connor erupts over the table.

“You know what? I can’t fucking do this.” Connor stands roughly, his chair flying back a few feet.

“Connor!” Jared watches frightenedly as Connor storms out of the house. “I just… I just thought… I was just trying to…”

“Go, Jared. Explain yourself, I’ll… deal with this end.” 

Jared nods, sprinting after Connor and disappearing through the door.

Jeremy sighs and rubs his face, wishing he hadn’t gone through with this stupid plan. He just wanted… well, what had he wanted going into this? Michael? He didn’t even know if Michael liked him, and he just went right into it thinking it would help. Great job, Jeremy! Look how well that ended.

“What did you mean, ‘explain yourself?’” Michael asked softly, noticing the frightened look on both Jared and Jeremy’s faces.

“Uh… well, actually, it’s kind of complicated, um…”

Evan, sensing the tension, dismisses himself to the living room, leaving Jeremy and Michael alone.

“Jared and I…” He starts, sighing. “We had a bet, sort of. We were trying to, um-” He swallows stiffly. “We were trying to make you and Connor jealous?”

“What?” He tilts his head. “Jealous of what?”

“Of, um, like, the lovey dovey stuff? Because, um, Jared really likes Connor, so we were trying to- to uh, get them together?” Jeremy fidgets with his hands under the table, knowing his face must be bright red.

“But,” Michael leans forward, “You said you were trying to make me jealous too? Is that why you’ve been ignoring me?”

“Oh. Oh, well, um…”

“Do you like me? Is that why you were all weird when i got here?”

“W-Well, I think so? I mean, I know I do, but I don’t know how you feel, so I thought - I mean, we just wanted to, like, you know, to see if you guys, um-” Jeremy closes his eyes and tries to breathe. He didn’t think it would go this wrong. He just wanted to mess around a little bit, not piss of Connor to the point of leaving and embarrass himself so badly he was on the verge of a panic attack. “We, we wanted to know how you guys felt about us, so we…”

“Acted all touchy feely with each other, and now Connor is outside pissed off and you’re about to shit yourself. Well, it sounds like a great plan to me.” Michael smiles at him, trying to keep to mood light.

“Michael, do you… do you like me? Or did I just totally fuck up and make everything really weird?” He meets Michael’s eyes from across the table, soft and sincere like they always were. He fell in love with those eyes a long time ago, and they hadn’t lost their charm just yet.

“Yeah. I like you. I’m actually really, really in love with you, but…” He shrugs and smiles. “Whatever you want to call it.”

Jeremy smiles and looks at his hands again. His face burns red, but he’s happy. The plan worked, didn’t it?

Well, mostly.

 

Jared sprints after Connor, catching him just before he gets to his car. “Connor, what the hell?!”

“Fuck off, Kleinman,” he spits, not even turning around to see him. “Why don’t you go fuck your new boyfriend?”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Jared insists. “Please, just listen to me-”

“What? Gonna tell me I’m overreacting? That I’m crazy? Oh, yeah, that’s me! Crazy school shooter Connor Murphy!” 

“Hey,” he says, hurt that Connor would just throw that at him. “That was a long time ago, I didn’t know you then…”

“Well, you don’t really know me now, either, do you?” 

“Connor…” Tears fill his eyes. He wasn't one to get emotional this easily, but, God. He didn’t know Connor at all back when he said those things, and he promised it didn’t upset him anymore that he used to be such a dick. “No, maybe I don’t know you. I didn’t know you were the type of person to insult our friends, or to go back on your word. I didn’t know you were capable of doing something that shitty.”

“When the hell did I go back on my word?” He snaps. His back is still to Jared, unaware he’s close to crying.

“You said you wouldn’t hold that shit from two years ago against me. You said it was fine, but I guess you’re a liar, now, too.” He’s struggling not to cry. He will not cry in front of Connor Murphy. Absolutely not. “I like you, you fucking idiot, not Jeremy. But maybe I was wrong about exactly who it was I was falling for.”

His throat hurts from trying to hold back tears, but he fails anyway. He sobs into his hand, turning away from Connor. He wants to go back inside, but he doesn’t want the pity he would get from letting them see him like this.

“Are you crying?” He hears from behind him. Connors voice has gone softer now, and he knows he’s turned to face him.

“Fuck off. I don’t need your sympathy.” Jared clips. 

“Hey,” He says. “I’m sorry, okay?”

He shakes his head, hugging his arms around himself as his shoulders shake.

“Jare, c’mere.” He pleads, stepping forward and placing his hands on either arm, stroking gently with his thumbs. He’s close enough that his chest is almost against Jared’s back. Jared steps forward and out of Connor’s grip. 

“You’re a dick.” His voice shakes as he speaks. “Don’t fucking touch me.”

“I didn’t mean to bring it back up, alright?” He tries again, turning Jared towards him. He avoids Connor’s eyes, tears streaking his face red. “I was- I was jealous, okay? You and Jeremy were being all touchy, and I couldn’t stand to see you like that with someone else. It’s fucking infuriating, honestly.”

Jared looks up with piercing eyes. “Just because you’re jealous, doesn’t mean you make me feel like a shitty person for something I already regret. Every day I think you’re finally going to realize I’m a terrible person and just leave and never come back. I hate everything I did to you before. That doesn’t mean you get to use it against me.” 

“I’m sorry.” He whispers, close enough to Jared to feel his breath. “I never meant to hurt you.”

“Neither did I.” His voice is still bitter, but his eyes are soft, staring into Connor’s. He can see he’s been smoking recently, his eyes bloodshot and breath potent.

“I’m a dick,” Connor murmurs, “and I’m really sorry.”

“I know. ‘N it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. I’m really sorry. I knew it still bothered you, I should have kept my stupid mouth shut.”

Jared hums, slightly distracted by how many different colors were actually in Connor’s eyes. He knew he had heterochromia, sure, but the colors within colors had his knees weak.

“Has anyone ever told you you have really nice eyes,” he blurts, but Connor smiles.

“Yeah, a few. Why, you thinkin’ about it?”

“A little.”

Connor’s smile is a little intoxicating. His cheeks are red from the compliment, but he keeps his eyes one Jared’s.

“You’ve got pretty eyes too, you know,” he murmurs, his breath fanning Jared’s face and reminding him that Connor is right there. He glances at Connor’s mouth, wishing he could be kissing him in that moment.

“I…” His voice fails him, breaking off like a shitty lead pencil. He doesn’t know what to say, other than “please kiss me.” But Connor, somehow, knows that. And he does.

His lips are chapped, Jared notes, and he brings his arms up to rest on Connor’s shoulders. He’s blushing so hard be bets Connor can feel it. Connor rests one hand on the small of Jared’s back, pressing him gently closer. His other rests on his waist.

Connor’s hand not-so-accidentally slips under Jared’s shirt and he gasps.

“Your hands are fucking cold,” He whispers, and they both laugh, intoxicated by the other. 

“We should- um, we should head back inside,” Connor murmurs.

“I like it out here.”

“Jare, we didn’t even eat…”  
“Shit,” he laughs, pulling away from Connor and grabbing his hand. “Why didn’t you say that in the first place? I’m starving.”

Connor smiles as he’s dragged inside, to Evan, Michael - who had now moved next to Jeremy - and Jeremy very awkwardly eating dinner together. Jeremy perks up once he sees them come in, a small smile on his face. 

“Hey. Everything’s okay?”

“Yeah. We’re great, actually.” Jared smiles, and Connor watches him fondly as they sit and begin to eat again.

“That’s - that’s great. We are too.” Michael says softly.

They eat in silence for a few minutes. Jeremy looks slightly troubled, and Michael prods him quietly, asking repeatedly if he’s alright. 

“I’m fine. It’s just- Um, Connor?”

Connor looks up from his plate, jolted out of his thoughts. “Huh?”

“Did you mean what you said, um, when you said I was pathetic? Because - I know this is really stupid I’m so sorry, it’s just - I know I’m not very, like, cool? ‘N I know that people talk about me a lot, so, just, is that what you think? Of me?”

“Oh, god- Jeremy, no, no, of course I don’t. I was just pissy because, you know. I didn’t mean that you’re pathetic. I’m sorry it’s been bothering you.”

“No, it was my fault, I just get really paranoid sometimes that you guys don’t really like me as much as you say you do. It’s not your fault, of course! It’s just my anxiety, you know-”

“I get it, Jeremy. We all get it. Everyone feels like that sometimes. It’s cool.” He smiles. Jeremy feels a thousand times better, and they all start small talking, and eventually swapping embarrassing stories.

*

jeremiah: thank u  
insane(ly cool): for  
jeremiah: tonight was really nice  
insane(ly cool): oh  
insane(ly cool): anytime buddy :)  
jeremiah: also this slushie is amazing  
insane(ly cool): fuck off  
jeremiah: aw look who’s jealous now  
insane(ly cool): con says ur an ass  
jeremiah: mikey says he likes this ass  
insane(ly cool): oh my god  
insane(ly cool): no  
insane(ly cool): please don’t make me think about you in bed  
jeremiah: payback for ‘dad bod’  
jeremiah: anyway thx for legit the best night of my life i owe you my soul  
insane(ly cool): no prob, we both got everything we wanted today  
jeremiah: aw, how cheesy <3  
insane(ly cool): fuck u  
jeremiah: nah, i’ve got mikey  
insane(ly cool): skjAKJHFKJHDSKJ  
Read by jeremiah

 

fin

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this rly quickly i think idk i enjoyed it tho lmaooo
> 
> Anyway i hope you liked this cheesy shit lmao i just wanted to post something here for the hell of it and to broaden my reach w people (my reach currently is me and my conscience) 
> 
> I love both musicals sm and i wanted to wrire this so here :) luv u bye!! 
> 
> (Also my tumblr is queer-apricot lol)


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